The root of frustration is expecting those closest to you to just get what you’re about by virtue of your closeness. It makes logical sense to assume that but it’s rarely true. Case in point - your family is usually the last to know who you really are...they are too busy being family. Your aunt is trying to remind you of how you had a runny nose as a five year old for three weeks straight to understand that you currently have a tight and nearly impossible deadline to keep your 10 million naira portfolio growing. Your mum is too busy explaining to everyone how you made straight A’s in your O levels to understand that you’ve been slowly losing interest in formal study and leaning more towards a vocation. Your father is too busy telling his friends how generous you were at 10 years of age that you would share your last biscuit with your classmate but cannot reconcile how people describe you as a slave driving Mobutu-wannabe at the office.
In summary, the only people who really know you are those who want to get to know you, not just those that are around you. In this regard, your spouse might be in better standing because you actually get to talk about your dreams and aspirations, share ideas and express your fears (hopefully!). That’s what it should be. One of my biggest pet peeves is having someone think they’ve got you all figured out after 5 minutes of conversation. Never mind the laughable sentence... “Noooo, he/she can’t do that, I’ve known him/her for 25 years. We played in the sand together!” Life does a lot of things to a lot of people. If you aren’t influencing the world around you, you can be sure that the world is influencing you. Having a best friend in kindergarten and hoping he/she is still your best friend in your 20’s is a dangerous game to play. Remember, if it’s not been exercised, it’s not muscle, it’s just flab.
Don’t worry if your family and closest friends with whom you go way back don’t go with your vision. It’s entirely up to you to make it work. From an entrepreneurial standpoint, it helps to look at it this way, your family is your toughest market...if you can sell to them; you can sell to anybody. If you can’t sell it to them, well that’s fine too...they’ll love you anyway! Be rest assured that family will try to convince you to take the path of least risk and resistance because the number one priority is safety and security which isn’t bad in itself but like I said, it’s up to you.
Family is a blessing that is difficult to quantify, they are such a joy to be around and be yourself with, no airs, no pretence, just you....runny nose and all. There are always two sides to a coin though and I just looked at the second side...... You get me?
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